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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23714176">Be My Mistake</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/remuswriting/pseuds/remuswriting'>remuswriting</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Fling - Freeform, Heartbreak, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, slightly canon compliant</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 21:27:48</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,527</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23714176</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/remuswriting/pseuds/remuswriting</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Hinata has to deal with a heartbreak he caused and won't go away, and somehow Oikawa is there to be his 'mistake'.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Hinata Shouyou/Oikawa Tooru</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>81</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Be My Mistake</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Warning: I haven't had time to really write in a long time, so this is very rough around the edges.  It is also not canon compliant but is in the sense of Hinata and Oikawa meet up in Brazil.  I feel like canon doesn't exist sometimes when I start writing, and this is a pretty decent example of that.</p><p>Also it's inspired by the song Be My Mistake by 1975.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He remembered sitting on a park bench, they were both sweating from messing around with the volleyball they brought.  Kageyama was taking a drink of water when Hinata spoke without even looking at him.</p><p>“What are we going to do when I leave?”</p><p>Hinata was worried, and he really tried to not show it, but he couldn’t help it.  He was scared that Kageyama would leave him via text or phone call, and he needed to know what was going to happen.  He would be leaving in two weeks, and neither of them had said anything about what they would do.</p><p>“Stay together?” Kageyama questioned as if he didn’t know the answer. “We love each other, what else would we do?”</p><p>“I’m scared.”<br/>
Kageyama was suddenly hugging him and Hinata was crying.  Later they discussed that it would be good to breakup (Hinata decided that) in case things got bad.  His mother and Yachi were more surprised about the breakup than him leaving for Brazil, which he would later agree with them.</p><p>“I’ll still be here when you get back,” Kageyama told Hinata at the airport right before Hinata had to leave. “I’m not disappearing.”</p><p>Kageyama stopped responding to Hinata three months into the ginger’s arrival to Brazil.  It made him regret ever breaking up, because maybe this wouldn’t have happened.  Or maybe Kageyama would’ve called or texted him one day to breakup with him.</p><p>Hinata was heartbroken on another level.  He thought he had felt heartbreak when they had lost important matches, but this made him feel like he couldn’t properly live again.  It made him feel pathetic to let Kageyama have this kind of power over him, but he’s pretty sure the other always had this kind of power over him.  His roommate didn’t speak much, but he told him to forget Kageyama if the other wasn’t trying to talk to him.</p><p>“Yachi, I can’t take this,” he cried over the phone, and she was one of the few people he kept in regular contact with from Japan.</p><p>“Maybe he’s just busy,” she said, and they both knew it wasn’t true.  It would be nice if that was the reason though.</p><p>“I don’t even care for an excuse anymore,” Hinata started before he choked on his tears slightly. “I just want to hear from him again.”</p><p>After a while, he got mostly over Kageyama.  Only his roommate knew about the boy, but not much for him to bring him up around Hinata.  None of his friends knew anything about his ex-boyfriend, because he just didn’t talk about him.  He avoided everything to do with him if he could.</p><p>It was hot outside, and everyone was taking a break from playing beach volleyball.  He remembered how the cold water from the cooler felt in his hand and the panic in his chest.</p><p>“Guys come check this guy out!  His jump serve is something else,” one of the guys he was playing with said.  Everyone looked to see Kageyama doing his perfect jump serve on his phone screen, and Hinata felt sick to his stomach.</p><p>“Yeah, he’s good.  Maybe you should practice like that to be actual competition,” another guy said only for the original to throw sand at him.</p><p>Hinata made up an excuse to go home, because he felt sick.  Tears streamed down his face as he biked home, because how dare he come back into his life again.  He felt pathetic for letting him control his life, but he was still so in love with him that he was sure he wouldn’t be able to get fully over him.</p><p>The cycle of being really good and really bad started, and he told his friends about Kageyama when he got wasted one night, and they stopped mentioning anything about the setter.  He wasn’t being reminded of his ex-boyfriend or his past (besides his mother and Yachi), which made him truly feel better.</p><p>Then Oikawa Toru showed up and Hinata felt like the universe hated him.  He thought all the other would do was remind him of his first love, and he did but also didn’t at the same time.</p><p>It started with practicing together, but then Hinata invited him out to eat.  They had a real and proper conversation, and Hinata wished sometimes he had been friends with Oikawa back in high school.  He remembered they went to a bar, and Hinata was tipsy but so was the other.</p><p>Words were said, but then they ended up in Hinata’s bed.  He wanted to claim it as a drunken mistake, but it kept happening every night Oikawa was there with him in Brazil.  It was fleeting and wouldn’t last, but for some reason he felt like they were both holding onto it like it had real meaning.</p><p>“These jeans are really nice,” Oikawa said as he pulled Hinata closer to him by his hips. “They’d look better on the floor though.”</p><p>Part of Hinata wanted to tell him the story of how he and Kageyama picked them out for him before he left for Brazil.  He’d even mention how they got milkshakes after.  He didn’t tell him the story, but he thought of how Kageyama promised to never drink milkshakes with anyone besides Hinata and if he kept that promise.</p><p>Instead responding to the suggestive comment like most would, he clutched Oikawa’s shirt and started to sob.  A hand rubbed his back, and he knew it meant that Oikawa understood what he was feeling or even thinking.  The brunette didn’t compliment anymore of the ginger’s clothing.</p><p>Hinata had drank more than usual that night and clung to Oikawa as he wanted to be part of him.  He kept trying to kiss the taller boy, but he was stopped by the other with a chuckle.</p><p>“Shoyo, do you find me irresistible?” Oikawa teased, and Hinata didn’t respond.</p><p>It wasn’t that the brunette wasn’t irresistible, but it was the fact that Hinata wanted to find out that if he kissed Oikawa enough, if the feeling of how it felt to kiss Kageyama would go away.  He wanted to know if his feelings for his ex-boyfriend would go if he kept doing this, because maybe he’d finally be free from heartbreak.</p><p>Hinata had wondered if Oikawa was running away from anything because he left Japan.  The ginger hadn’t been running from anything, not at first, so maybe the other hadn’t been either.  He wondered a lot about everything that happened, but mainly after it ended.  It was easier to think after it all ended.</p><p>They were tangled with each other along with sheets, and Hinata traced patterns on the older man’s torso.  It was there last night together, and the darkness consuming them made them feel safer than they had while they had been together.</p><p>“Shoyo, I like this,” Oikawa whispered into the quiet room, and Hinata continued to trace shapes on his torso. “I wish I could stay here forever.”</p><p>“You do?” Hinata asked softly, and he didn’t falter in his actions of tracing shapes because he hoped it would calm both of their nerves.</p><p>“Yes,” Oikawa said softly as his finger’s played with Hinata’s hair. “You remind me of home.”</p><p>Maybe Oikawa had been running away from Japan.  He never spoke about his family or even Iwaizumi whenever Shoyo brought up his mother, sister, and Yachi.  Maybe the brunette had never talked about that like the other did, but he had determined that running away from Japan seemed to fit Oikawa in Hinata’s eyes.</p><p>Hinata had been running away from his actual emotions though.  He had gotten involved with Oikawa because he couldn’t handle facing the feelings he actually had.  In a way, he was scared he’d get burned if he continued to bask in the emotions he had in high school.  He didn’t really have any solid and true emotions about Oikawa back in high school except for admiration and jealousy.  They were on the same side now though, and he enjoyed it.</p><p>“You remind me of home too,” Hinata breathed out. “Only the good things though.”</p><p>It was slightly a lie that he said that, but it was also true at the same time.  Oikawa had that power to do that apparently.</p><p>Hinata felt selfish for wanting for them to stay in touch after they parted ways.  He didn’t to be ghosted again, because he actually wanted to be Oikawa’s friend.  He liked being on the same side more than he thought he would.  Kageyama had hated the upperclassmen in high school, and it felt good not feeling like he had to hate someone.</p><p>Oikawa wasn’t exactly a mistake to Hinata.  He had brought him a sense of home that he had been missing and became the friend he needed, which the ginger was grateful for.  He had also ended up in his bed every night because they were both sad and alone, and that was the mistake of it all.  It was a mistake every time Hinata’s brain compared Oikawa to Kageyama, because he’d only end up missing the boy he still loved even more.</p><p>“Text me when you get back,” Oikawa said about when Hinata would be going back to Japan.  He knew the brunette wasn’t coming back with him, because he wasn’t ready to go back.</p><p>“I could just call you,” Hinata suggested, and the other chuckled.</p><p>“You scream on the phone, and I don’t want to deal with that.  Also, the time difference is ridiculous,” Oikawa said, and the sand underneath their feet was relaxing. “Your flight leaves tonight, right?”</p><p>“For the hundredth time, yes,” Hinata said as he stared at the sand.  He was all packed up in his apartment, but he wanted to enjoy the rest of the day on the beach. “I’m going to miss the sand.”</p><p>“You say that now, but we both know you’re excited to go back to a real court.”</p><p>He wasn’t wrong, because Hinata had been waiting to put on his sneakers and play volleyball like he used to.  Although he was still scared of his emotions from high school, he’d never be scared from the thrill he used to have running around the court and feeling the solid floor beneath his feet.</p><p>Oikawa took him to the airport, and Hinata knew that meant they were actually friends.  They said their goodbyes with a simple hug, and Hinata got on the airplane.  He had all the time in the world to think now, and so he did.  He thought about Oikawa mainly, how everything felt like it had happened in a blur.  He also thought about Kageyama, and if he was still actually waiting for him back in Japan.<br/>
When comparing the two, Oikawa was the one that made him feel content but also horny, while Kageyama truly felt like home.  He was certain that it didn’t matter how many people he had a relationship with, because the black haired setter was the only boy he had been thinking about for years.</p><p>Yachi, his mother, and Natsu would be picking him up from the airport.  He was ready for the sign Natsu would make in order to embarrass her brother (and Yachi), but she’d also know that he’d secretly love it.  They were the main three he kept in contact with, although Yamaguchi would message him on occasion same as his old upperclassmen.  Those three though were the only ones to know when he was coming home (at least from him, because they could’ve told everyone).</p><p>He got off the plane, got his things, and went to find his very small family.  The first thing he saw was a big poster board with photos of Japan and Brazil on it with English saying, “Welcome Home”.  Natsu was beaming as she held it, and he hurried over to them.  He noticed his mother wasn’t with her or Yachi, but someone else was and he wasn’t sure if he couldn’t identify him or didn’t want to.</p><p>Suddenly Hinata was running and engulfed the black haired setter in a hug.  He’d later think about how pathetic it was of him to do that, to just embrace him without warning, but he couldn’t think that now.  Kageyama hugged him back, and he forgot about how they hadn’t spoken in so very long.</p><p>“Shoyo! Look at the poster I made you!” Natsu yelled, and he fully realized what had just happened.  He fully realized that Kageyama was there in the airport with Yachi and his little sister.</p><p>“It’s perfect,” Hinata said with a grin before picking her up slightly and spinning her around, causing the poster to fall to the floor. “I’ve missed you.”</p><p>“My poster!” Natsu cried out, and he heard Yachi laugh at his younger sister. “Put me down!”</p><p>Soon the four of them were walking out of the airport and headed for the train, and it was eating at him as to why Kageyama was here to get him.  They hadn’t spoken in so long that it just felt wrong for him to be here.</p><p>“Why are you here?” Hinata asked, and they both stopped as the two girls continued on.</p><p>“I said I would be waiting for you,” Kageyama said, and it didn’t feel like that was the truth.  It wasn’t like the setter to lie, but he had told him he wasn’t going to disappear and then did though.</p><p>“Why are you here?” Hinata asked again, this time with ferocity he didn’t know he had.</p><p>“What happened with you and Oikawa?” Kageyama asked, and Hinata then remembered the selfie the two had taken together.</p><p>“Why does it matter?  It’s not like we were speaking to each other,” Hinata snapped, and Kageyama looked down at the ground.</p><p>“I'm sorry.  I just want to know what happened.”</p><p>Hinata fell silent at the hurt and fear in the other’s voice.  Kageyama had only ever sounded like this once before when they were alone in his room talking about Brazil for real before Hinata left.  He didn’t like hearing it because it made him feel hurt and scared too, but he tried to move on from that.</p><p>“He was a,” Hinata stopped, trying to figure out the right words.  It didn’t matter what he told Kageyama, because it wasn’t like the other really had the right to know.  He had been the one to kick Hinata out of his life, and Hinata didn’t owe him anything. “Nothing.  He and I were just friends.”</p><p>Hinata hadn’t seen Oikawa as a mistake until he realized he wasn’t sure if he would be able to actually tell anyone what happened.  People had flings all the time, but Oikawa was different.  Part of the ginger boy wondered if maybe he had just been begging Oikawa to be his mistake, to be the thing to rid all his feelings for Kageyama, without ever saying it directly.  He knew it wasn’t fair he had used the other to do that, especially when it hadn’t fully worked, but he couldn’t turn back time to tell himself no.<br/>

He couldn’t turn back time and ask Oikawa if it was okay to make him his mistake.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I know the ending is rough.  I was trying to not make it really long, because I have the ability to make something way too long when it doesn't need to be.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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